I\u2019m a strong believer in the potential of small businesses and the food system to build a better world for future generations. These past few months have been exceptionally tough and a period of great introspection as I struggled with the repercussions of the pandemic and came to the realization that I have been failing in my role as a leader of this business. 
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After the arrival of COVID 19 the cafe saw an immediate drop in sales of eighty percent even before the shelter-in-place order. Once the order had been given we needed to close shop right away and we were without any income at all.
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My first reaction to the whole thing was to go into turtle mode, retreating into my shell and doing my best to close the world out. This was not an option. The bills kept coming in, my family needed me more than ever, and I felt a huge responsibility to my team who have been so loyal to me over the years. How could I ever keep on paying them so that they could support themselves and their families? How could I keep the business afloat without any income and what, if anything, could I do to turn this situation into a positive?\u00a0
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When things get hard I try to look towards the light. Darkness will find those that linger too long in the shadows, but move towards the light and you will surely find the sun. That is what I am trying to do now in the hope that we can not only keep the cafe alive, but come out of this with a stronger sense of purpose, togetherness, and desire to be better.\u00a0
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I have not been the business owner or leader that I want to be the past five years. Two kids and two house moves have dominated my attention. I believe in the power of food and the food system to play a leading role in rebuilding the health of humans and the planet. I have not shown up to do the work and play my role in turning ideas into reality. 
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In the past I wanted to keep things simple. Simple systems and little complexity made running the business easier. Events such as this one though show how fragile simple systems are. 
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Nature is resilient through its diversity and complexity. That is what a business should be too. To be able to ride out the challenges of abnormal events, whether that be a recession or a pandemic, a business needs to have diversity. Complementary income flows that can mutually support one another, a diverse range of knowledge, skills and abilities, employees from a range of different backgrounds, different customer demographics. Building this complexity into a business gives it momentum. 
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Complexity and diversity build resilience and fuel momentum. Momentum enables a business to keep on rolling through the toughest of challenges. If one part of the business struggles it will be supported by another part.
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Coronavirus hit us hard and came out of the blue. Like for so many, the future feels terrifying and uncertain. The light for me is that this time has shown me a path forward for the business. A path that requires me to show up and do the work. To build a business that makes positive change in the food system in multiple ways, that is resilient in its diversity, and that generates so much momentum that it keeps rolling on long after I\u2019m gone.
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